Exactly one month ago, I published Can't Hold My Feelings (it's worth mentioning that submitting the game to the Otome Jam was nothing but pure luck). When I announced the game a year ago, I had no concrete idea of what it would become. All I had was a vague concept: Monica and Jacob spending an evening together, with one of them getting drunk. Initially, I envisioned the visual novel having two big routes: one from Monica's POV, which I implemented, and another from Jacob's POV! If you played as Jacob, Monica would have been the one to overindulge in wine.

...Now that would have been fun.

However, in the end, I opted for a simpler approach, resulting in a story where Monica gets a chance to change her relationship with Jacob from friendship (with lots of teasing) to romance (with even more teasing). Honestly, I think it barely fits the definition of an "otome game"; I would consider it more a romance story. So, when the Otome Jam happened, I wasn't entirely sure if the game would fit the category.

It turns out my fears were unnecessary. The game has been received very positively despite almost no marketing, reaching #9 in popularity among 103 entries (edit: 18/07 now it's #5?!). Considering this game was created by just two people—my friend Rem (who drew the sprites and tweaked the backgrounds) and me—I believe it's a tremendous achievement. Especially when you consider that Can't Hold My Feelings is just a spin-off of an entirely different game.

Monica, Jacob, and, to some extent, Alistair are the main characters from a project called Estelle. You can find more information about it on our website (just so you know, making games is a recent endeavor for us; we've always been making comics, since 2016). Basically, Estelle is a story about a young woman named Monica, who comes into contact with an ancient artifact and acquires mysterious powers. She has to understand and control these powers while becoming the person she is truly meant to be. Many characters will assist her in this journey, with Jacob being her first and most important ally. You can probably guess that Jacob is going to be more than just an ally, although Estelle isn't a romance story. However, it is definitely a love story. Love, after all, comes in many forms.

There's currently little to no actual content about Estelle as a game as I am still planning the story and scenes. I just finished writing an extensive summary of the first act and am figuring out what kind of content I want to include in the visual novel besides, you know, plain text.

For example, I am considering adding bonus scenes from other characters' POVs that unlock only if you progress to a certain point in the story and make specific choices. You know, like the bonus content in Higurashi—those scenes that provide hints about the story from another perspective aside from Keiichi's. That's the kind of bonus content I want to include. In Estelle, Monica has to figure out what her power is and its purpose. In this sense, it’s a mystery, one the reader can speculate on.

Also, I am thinking of giving Monica stats at the beginning of the story that you can level up by making choices along the way, reaching a point where you cannot proceed if a certain stat isn't high enough. I personally love these elements! I also want to include a way for the player to develop Monica and Jacob's relationship so you can sense you're getting closer to him through your choices. Let's make this visual novel fun, I say!

So, Can't Hold My Feelings has been an important step towards this goal. I want to turn Estelle into a visual novel that is interesting, pretty (I desperately need a UI artist), and fun. I intend to invest my own money into making this game to ensure it turns out as well-done as possible. I dream of launching a Kickstarter to fund the visual novel and go beyond my own capabilities. However, realistically speaking, it will only have a chance if I publish at least a demo of the first act. So, I'm still pondering this. Also, I think I need to find other people to help with the project (I'm a software developer myself, but I can't do everything and still maintain my sanity. Something has to give). I'm a small girl with big dreams... but you can help me achieve them by sharing our content!

If you've read this far, congratulations! Have a cookie. 🍪
Needless to say, I hope you liked Can't Hold My Feelings and I hope you'll keep an eye on us in the future. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Cheers from Italy!